What a long strange journey it’s been

So if anyone is still reading this, I haven’t posted for about a month and a half. I just had to take the focus somewhere else for a while. And, well, it’s been a crazy month to say the least. The shortened version of August/September is essentially this:

  1. August was spent prepping for Burning Man (happy busy!)
  2. Just before leaving for Burning Man I snooped around on Facebook and discovered that my ex was in a new relationship. Initial reaction: ouch, but I had moved on at that point so not a huge deal.
  3. I snooped some more on his new girlfriend’s page. And, had a major OMG moment when I realized she had posted pictures with Jon the day before I went into surgery this spring. When I had surgery he told me this story about how his uncle needed help moving and really needed him there. I realized in that moment it was all a lie. This woman was here staying with him while I really needed support.
  4. Complete and total rage at what a rat bastard lying cheating SOB he was. Realized that this relationship was going on at the same time as ours, and even when he ended he told me there was no one else. Lies, lies, lies and more lies he told me.
  5. Went to Burning Man, still pissed as hell at him, but that is an amazing place to deal with emotion. I cried my eyes out at the temple for about 3 hours. That helped immensely, and then of course the water works started again as I watched it burn.
  6. I came home, and the whole thing was still bugging me to death. So, for better or for worse, I took action. I contacted his new girlfriend and told her everything. Of course he lied to her as well. He asked us both to move to Oregon. He told us both that he loved us, he was sleeping with both of us, and lying through his teeth. Who does that?
  7. Girlfriend basically thinks things over, doesn’t believe me, believes Jon’s bullshit story that I was nothing more than a friend with benefits.
  8. I realized that Jon is a dirtbag rat bastard with absolutely no soul. Then I realized he is that, but also seriously messed up in the head. He apparently is so terrified of being alone that he will manipulate, lie, cheat, and tell me that he will support me in having a baby, all while carrying on a relationship with another women. Thank god I didn’t move for him. Still mad that I wasted a year and half on a total and complete douchebag. (No there are no names too low for this one.)
  9. He is also an alcoholic working as a councilor while drinking again. So I turned him in for that as well. He seriously needs to be stopped.
  10. Funny thing, my body stopped hurting after I found all this out. It knew before I consciously knew all this myself apparently. Too bad I didn’t figure out what it was telling me before I spent thousands and thousands of dollars on doctors.

So, er, that’s it in a nutshell. The sheer volume of lies that he told me baffles me. He is a world class actor, and a world class liar. At least I will rest well knowing that I did everything in my power to stop him from using, manipulating, and hurting anyone else. I almost feel like I was in a movie, or a nightmare. So bizarre.

A psychologist told me that her off the cuff diagnosis is antisocial personality disorder. It’s the disorder that criminals have. He definitely has some sort of disorder, normal people just don’t act without remorse or care for anyone else.

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